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Parenting with a healthy pattern of communication is possible. Do you want to help your children prosper? Just as the world around us has harmful elements, so do our homes; even our Christian homes. As unfortunate as it is, we often hurt each other, especially our children, with our words.

Did you grow up with parents who used words as verbal attacks? If you did, I'm sure you hoped you wouldn't do the same with your children. But the truth is, you will probably repeat the pattern unless you purpose to take action and stop it.

Stop the Negative Communication Pattern of Parenting

Changing your parenting communication pattern from one that uses negative verbal attacks is possible. Developing healthy patterns of communication, which reflect the presence of Jesus Christ, is key!

I'm sure you would agree that the cruel, degrading, judgmental, hurtful words we use to communicate with our children must stop. It is like verbal poison that wounds and destroys our children emotionally. Our words are often negative attacks at a child's behavior, intelligence, appearance, or value as a person.

Verbal attacks can be direct or indirect. The following statements are some common examples:


You're worthless and will never amount to anything.
Don't act so stupid. Can't you do anything right?
You are no good. Why can't you be like your brother?

Just because we can't see the inner damage that verbal attacks cause in our children, does not mean a negative impact still isn't left lingering in them.

Parenting With Words That Prosper

How do we change a negative parenting communication pattern to one that is positive and helps develop our children into prosperous individuals?

Acknowledging the need to change is the first step. The next step is identifying abusive words we use. Then we need to begin exchanging the destructive, hurtful words with constructive, guiding, nurturing, and encouraging words.

James said the tongue is full of deadly poison and out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. (James 3:8-10) We need to lean on God's help to keep our words, words of blessing and encouragement.

When our words are full of nurture and encouragement, our children know we are standing with them and not against them. Children need their parents to believe in their potential as they guide and discipline them.

Believe in your children. Help your children see themselves the way God sees them. Help them find their unique, gifted potential and you'll also find they begin to respond in ways you desire. Once they discover you are standing with them, a healthier communication develops.

Yes. Our children try our patience, irritate us and sometimes humiliate us in ways we never thought possible. Problems, difficulties, disappointments, heartaches and failures are an unavoidable part of parenting. But we can choose to respond with words that heal instead of words that wound.

Bottom line: A parents words have power. We can make our children feel worthless or we can choose to learn how to parent with a healthy pattern of communication; one that helps them think as highly of themselves as God does, and helps them prosper.

May you parent your children with words of love and enjoy a family blessed with growing prosperity!